Thursday, March 6, 2008


As I'm sure you are well aware, the original Dungeon Master, one of the creators of the popular role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons passed away on Tuesday, March 4, 2008, from apparent heart problems. As I read the news, I looked around the Alternating Current World Headquarters to see who might give a shit. "Who, here, played D&D?" I shame myself by referring to it by its initials. One hand. Needless to say, it wasn't mine; but I did once date a guy in 1993 who opted for staying after school to play D&D with his buddies, rather than go back to my house to... I don't know... do something else cooler. So I have had my brush with the destiny of those who become consumed by this strange other world.

I would just let this go without a mention, except for the fact that so many of my friends have had such wonderful quips at poor dead Gary's expense, and to let the humor die would be such a shame. So I shall share some quotable quotes regarding our dear Gary Gygax, one of the men responsible for the nerdy downfall of two generations:

Looks like the original Dungeon Master misses his final saving throw. Now he is probably "rolling" in his grave. Surely, someone must know a resurrection spell, no? Ah well, heaven has another virgin.

Internment will be on level 6 of the Great Dungeon of Malefaectus Malefactorum. You see many mourners quietly crying. There is the smell in the room of decay and comic books. In lieu of flowers, you are asked to make a donation of 50 gold pieces to the Ram's Head tavern. Do you make the donation or roll to avoid guilt?

Mountain Dew and Doritos sales are going to plummet.

[Gary Gygax Memorial Haiku:]

the pen's final stroke,
stories and dice cast away:
unkept borderlands

Thank gosh for our sense of humor!

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